You're older than you've ever been and now you're even older
and now you're even older
and now you're even older
You're older than you've ever been and now you're even older
and now you're older still.
They Might Be Giants, "Older"
So . . . my birthday's coming up, and that means the yearly birthday conundrum has descended. After nearly a quarter-century of practice, I'm still not sure how to walk the line between humble nonchalance and HEY MY BIRTHDAY'S COMING UP PRESENTS PLZ!!
Not that it's presents that I really want, necessarily. I just want some extra attention. Maybe some people are okay with admitting their birthday passed two weeks ago, it's no biggie if you missed it; I might say that, trying to be brave, but I might burst into tears if you don't take the bait and say, "No, no! It is a biggie! Happy birthday, you're amazing!"
Would that be terribly shallow of me? In light of my endeavors to avoid shallowness the rest of the year, I submit that no, it would not. Still, I realize that reminding all my acquaintances every day for three weeks before my birthday is not the best way to ensure I get a gush of goodwill. So I employ more stealthy strategies. I ask other people when their birthdays are, so I can tell them mine when they politely ask back. If I need to reschedule an appointment or talk about an activity conflicting with possible birthday activities, I say, "Oh, gee, I can't. It's my birthday and I'll be busy that night," or "Huh, that's happening the same day as my birthday. What a coincidence!" Stuff like that.
I feel like I also have to be extra careful because I have a March birthday; it turns out that being born in March is almost as popular as Sarah is for a name. In my current social sphere, it seems like it's been someone's birthday every other day. I try to make sure I give birthday cheer liberally (otherwise I couldn't expect it in return), but I realize that after the dozenth cake-and-candle ceremony, it starts to get old. So I try to keep expectations tamped down, but I still worry about how everything will go.
This year I had an awesome idea. Why don't I write a desperation-cleverly-disguised-as-arrogance-expressed-with-a-self-deprecating-wink-type entry about it on the blog? Think that'll work?
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8 comments:
So when is your birthday? I'm the same as you... I figured that announcing 10:28 day and night would help most everyone remember my birthday. ;)
It's this Saturday. I'm 3:28. :)
Yep, it worked.
It's too late for me to buy you anything and send it to you via the mail. And have it arrive on your birthday. Next year, post at the beginning of March so I have time to find THE PERFECT THING. Or at least scroll through my bookmarks looking for things that I've marked with you especially in mind.
Meanwhile, on your day, I'll give you as much attention as you can possibly get. You deserve it.
So, when do I to look at your birthday gift wish list? Or are you going to surprise me with it on Friday afternoon? :-)
We all love chocolate cake with cherries on top. Will we get some on Saturday?
Your birthday is so important to us, Samantha and I will bow out of our "very important" meeting Saturday evening to pay attention to you. It's gonna be great to be here Saturday! Everybody needs to come and see how we celebrate a birthday!
"I ask other people when their birthdays are, so I can tell them mine when they politely ask back."
I'm not sure if that would work on me. Possibly because I'm a socially inept frog, but unless I detected that it was an invitation to ask back, it's just not one of those things that I find terribly interesting. If someone at church or something came up to me and was like, "blah blah blah do you like waffles or pancakes better?" it wouldn't pique any reciprocal interest whatsoever, nor would "blah blah blah upon what day of the year were you pulled out of your mother?"
The good thing is, I know you're a technophile and have these things already marked up in your calendar. Otherwise, yes, I'd have to adopt a different strategy with you. Maybe one involving a whack in the face with a wet fish. "Hey!" [Whack] "Birthday!"
HAHAHAHAHA. Wet fish. Socially inept frog. Mom... we have some strange creatures in our family. You guys are too funny. What does Arthur say again? Something about Sue Ellen's excellence.
"I'm frightened by your excellence." :)
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