Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Travelblog

I'd like to turn your attention to the latest gadget in the right sidebar, a feed for my new blog, "No, England." I've talked to many acquaintances who want to know generally what I'm up to in England, and these requests for updates gave me an interesting quandary. I realized that while I'm fine sharing these Rhyme and Reason thoughts with perfect strangers or close friends, strangely the thought of showing them to mere acquaintances makes me uneasy. Close friends know me well enough to understand, and strangers can think whatever they want about me, I don't care, but acquaintances . . . They know just enough about me to possibly misunderstand what I write and then associate me ever after with the misunderstood conception. Which makes seeing them again rather awkward.

So I created "No, England" as a two-month travelblog to give out to everyone for general news and pictures, while this blog remains the spot for anecdotes, opinions, internal debates, and rhymes. Just so y'all know.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Spinning

When she goes, she's gone
If she stays, she stays here
Girl knows what she wants to do
She knows what she wants to do . . .

Simon and Garfunkel, "Fakin It"


Do you ever feel like you're standing in the middle of a freeway? Maybe standing on the barely-there cement median, smack between four busy lanes of traffic? And you stand there, ready to spring forward or back, trying to catch the eyes of the drivers whizzing by carelessly in their machines, looking for a break so you can cross. After awhile it gets really frustrating. You wonder why they can't see you standing there, waving your arms. "Could you just slow down a sec? Hey! Hello! Just stop, it'll just take a minute, then I'll be on my way and you all can drive off to wherever you're so anxious to go. Hey! Could you FREAKING LET ME CROSS ALREADY?"

Well, that's been the past week for me. Life is whizzing by, dragging doppler smears through my days. I'm less than two weeks from moving out, driving home, and then flying to England, and it's terrifying. I have a job to quit, with all its trainings and last-minute projects and goodbye rituals; an apartment to move out of, reminding me once again how much I hate moving; old friends to say frantic goodbyes to; and on top of all that I get to see the new coming in, impatient to replace the old.

That last part is embodied in the new roommate that moved in late last week. I'm trying to decide whether it's worth the effort to get to know her, since I don't expect to be home much while she is, but I'm leaning against it. She's been zealously industrious at reorganizing the entire apartment, shaking her head but patiently holding her tongue as she quickly erases the evidence of my and my roommates' obvious organizational stupidity. Mixing bowls in the kitchen? How foolish! Let's stuff them in the pantry down the hall! So much better!

When you're hesitating in the middle of a freeway, it really doesn't help to have someone standing right behind you, claiming the median for their own and all but shoving you headlong into traffic.

So I'm overwhelmed. I sit at home in all my half-packed junk, and suddenly all I can do is play Freecell or sprawl on the couch watching the Olympics. I go to work and sit in my chair, memos and to-do lists spread over the surface of my desk, and all I can do is stare blankly at my computer screen. Where do I begin? How can I possibly get all this done before I leave? Could everything just STOP, just HOLD STILL FOR A FEW FREAKING MINUTES WHILE I FIGURE THIS OUT?

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Work

The All-Hands Meeting

Conference center welcome beeps
important message from the veeps:

"Innovation Home Workstation(blah)
Value-Added Branding Rules
Customer(blah blah) Sales Transformation
(blah)Winning Global Action Tools
Advantage Reaching (blah blah blah)Competition
Total Core Competency
Local (blah)Area Solution
Practice Ethics(blah) Policy
Powerful Alignment Session(blah blah)
Team(blah) Acquired Network Port
Training Scheduling Concession
(blah)Profit End-of-(blah)Year Report."

Back to work. Can hardly wait
for next time they communicate.

***

I've felt quite a range of emotions this past month at work, a few short weeks before I leave; running the gamut from bored to furious to grateful to nostalgic. The hardest part of the job—of any job—is working with people, and although this office is homogenous in a lot of ways, we definitely have a variety of personalities. I have learned a lot by rubbing shoulders with them.

I'm going to miss a lot of things, but one thing I won't, I have to say, is tangled corporate hierarchy and jargon. Don't tell the bigwigs, but during the conference call meetings our office has paper airplane wars. I will miss those.