On Burping

I grew up sandwiched between two brothers, so I suppose it's only natural that, along with them, I perfected the art of burping at will at a young age. I occasionally outstripped them at it, even. I admit it. This was a talent that I naturally did not display at church or around young women my age, but it wasn't something I considered "gross," seeing how I knew the effort it took to gulp down enough air to save up a big one. I enjoyed delivering shock value at home. Mom could never abide burping at the table, but Dad thought it was great, and for a while so did I.

Then I went to college and had a roommate who burped often and unrestrainedly. Loudly. She was so used to doing it that she didn't even hear herself anymore and would deny burping if told she'd just done so. That was the troubling part: she couldn't even control it anymore. Shock-value burps delivered every day lose their ability to shock and just, to me, became the disgusting sound of her innards, prominently declaring that she had no control over her body and no desire to take control either, not for politeness' or roommates' or anyone's sake.

After living with her, I can't stand it when girl friends burp out loud on purpose. Especially when they think it's funny. When you're over twenty, it means something more than that you've got air in your throat. "I can't help it!" I sometimes hear. Yes you can. It's called closing your mouth.




That said . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I still think this is hilarious.