I've been a little lacking in the verse department on this blog lately, and it's time to remedy that. I discovered during my roommate years that although some people object to the passive-aggression of leaving notes around the apartment about roommate issues, nobody minds a note in snappy, rhyming verse. So I have a few poems to offer about some common roommate situations I experienced.
I wrote this one years ago and put it in the bathroom by a quickly disappearing commodity:
Afraid I will offend you (slightly):
Alarmed to change the paper nightly.
Can't you just use three or four?
Do soggy bottoms need much more?
Another bathroom one, just for the ladies:
The garbage can is often full
of evidence of monthly needs.
I ask that it, if possible,
be taken out by she who bleeds.
Put on top of a layer of plastic wrap over the sink:
The disposal isn't working
and the kitchen sink won't drain.
Please don't pile your dirty dishes
in our clogged-up sink again.
Never posted, but thought about over and over and over one specific term at school:
Please don't touch the thermostat
because it is apparent that
your parents raised a spoiled brat
who burns up electricity.
It's cold in here. You think I jest?
See me in my winter's best?
It's summertime, and I suggest
you leave the thermostat to me.
This is applicable to my current little, furry roommate:
I was happy to adopt you
and I couldn't love you more,
but I wish you wouldn't opt to
kick your litter 'cross the floor.
Fun, huh? I've got a few more poems left in me to add to these. What would you put down in verse in a note to a roommate?
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5 comments:
You know, the first ones sounds awfully familiar... was it from our freshman or senior year? I love all of these. ;)
Stephanie, that was from our freshman year - I remember Tori practically rolling on the floor laughing over it. All of us in Heritage enjoyed your verses, Sarah, but if I recall there were some in a later year who objected even to the witty verses. I was rather sad that you weren't "allowed" to write them anymore!
Yeah, Steph, I know you saw at least the first one. :) Erin, I remember that! Made me so mad. Notes were my outlet for saying what needed to be said more kindly and completely than I would manage face-to-face. Natalie's married and has a kid now, did you know? Crazy!
Wow, I didn't know that! Personally, the notes were so much better because the problems still got discussed, just in a much more light-hearted manner after a witty note. Without the note everyone was left feeling bitter/frustrated/angry/attacked. Never could understand how they couldn't see that.
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