I know a few people who just love these kinds of questions. They think asking a bunch of them and having everyone in a group answer is a fantastic way of getting to know people. I disagree. I think it's a fantastic way of starting a chest-beating impressiveness contest. When I'm talking to someone who genuinely wants to get to know me, I shouldn't be thinking about how much higher my score would be if I said "puma" than "platypus."
It's not that the questions are inherently bad, it's just that they're meant to lead into a conversation, not comprise one. I've seen them misused time and time again. A real conversation means you listen to the person's response and then ask them questions based on that response. Why would you be a puma? Did you have a puma growing up? What was its name? How much does puma chow cost? Instead, too many people just wait for the other person to field the question right back at them, and then that conversation is over. Some people are so accustomed to these short, ping-pong-like conversational matches that while the other person is responding to their question, they're thinking of what spiffy, random question to ask next. This puts the value on the question instead of the response, which means no actual communication is taking place.
I think ultimately the cause of this is, as mentioned earlier, our desire to be impressive to the people we're talking to (which is compounded tenfold in a dating situation). But being stuck in your own head thinking, "Hm, should I say this or this? Which would make me more attractive to my date?" is not impressive. Everyone does that. What's impressive is someone who looks at you while you're talking, doesn't interrupt, reacts to what you say, and asks you questions that bid you to continue, elaborate, explain further. Someone who makes you feel like you are fascinating without reducing you to an animal or five words that best describe you or what color your toothbrush is.
Basically, someone who is actually interested in getting to know you.
6 comments:
I can agree with that. Additionally, many of these sorts of games are supposed to be a way to get people joking and laughing - making fun of the situation or jokingly answering the stupid questions. Humor is a good way to get to know people. Unfortunately, the "what kind of ____ would you be" questions aren't even remotely funny or interesting. Which kind of matches up with the sort of people who enjoy asking those types of questions.
Meanwhile, I'll be hanging out with the group of people that are making fun of your group of people.
My toothbrush is green! :)
The What Color Is Your Toothbrush Question was my favorite to ask guys during youth dances. We were expected to make conversation and to "get to know each other" when, really, we were just trying to escape the awkwardness of being aroused by a stranger/member of the opposite sex's nearness. Even when in proper dancing position.
Besides, I had to do something to shake the guys out of their "Must Concentrate On Keeping The Beat" mode. I didn't get any dates because I was just known as That Weird Girl Who Asks Random Questions. And come on: two minutes to catch their attention in a dimly-lit room?
It wasn't long before I had the realization, like you, that dances were not the place to hook a date. So they became places to make friends and have fun with friends. And to be goofy. And yes, still weird.
Well I do like to get the answer to these questions, but not because I like to show off. I just like to know. In case sometime the information might come in handy. But in a way I do agree with you.
I'm pretty sure I would be a German Shepard :D
If I had a chance to become an animal, I would become a fluffy bear (as Essaykings told me once). Though I'm not sure I can be so calm and pretty. After all, I have a very interesting job to be so slow.
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