On Weddings

And I love you
Yes I do
And if you thought
That I didn't love you
Then you'd be wrong, honey
Because . . .
I really really love you I really really love you
I really really love you I really really love you

Brent and Ryan, best love song ever

A friend of mine is getting married today, and I am so happy for her. I have seen lots of friends get married, and I think this is the happiest and least jealous I've ever felt at a friend's wedding.

I'm not sad, because even though I won't see this friend as much anymore, I feel certain she's not going to cut off all friendships with singles. When she says we'll get together sometime after the wedding, I actually believe her.

I'm not massively irritated, because she was never my roommate, so I never had to deal with having her boyfriend/fiance over all the time. (Though I've had several good engaged-roommate situations.) Also, when she and her almost-husband appeared at social functions together, they were able to talk to other people and never indulged in obnoxiously sappy/physical PDA. They were sensitive to the world existing outside their relationship.

I'm not jealous, because I really feel like she and her fiance deserve the happiness they will find in each other. I think they both have an accurate idea of the dedication involved in a successful marriage, and that they'll be great at it. Watching them gives me hope that the same will be possible for me when it's my turn.

Mostly, though, I think I've just come a long way since the first of my close friends got married. I've witnessed many engaged couples and gone to many weddings (and observed whether friendships continued or ended afterward), and I understand a lot better what the process is like and how stressful it can be for the couple. I've realized that in nursing my own wounds and petty jealousies, I haven't always been the supportive friend I could have been, even to capable brides who never seemed to need my support. I've learned that it's okay to be just perfectly happy for someone else, without a particle of selfishness interfering. Actually, it feels wonderful—liberating, even.

So congratulations, J and J, and my sincerest, best wishes to you both!