Gay Marriage

But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter:
And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know [sexual euphemism] them.

Genesis 19:4-5

Homosexuals demanding complete acceptance of their lifestyle. Far-fetched? Not really.

I have tried to write this article about a dozen times. I went for emotional, religious zeal, but then lost the desire to completely bare my soul online, where I might swiftly find it torn to bits. I went for more scientific, trying to explain my thoughts in terms acceptable to the Other Side. But that's where the problem is, in terms. Perspective. Culture. Moral basis.

After awhile the article just became long and unfinished, clogged by my frustration that I can't fully say what I feel and that the people who I would intend it for would never see it or, seeing it, never try to understand my vantage point.

Okay, so clearly people are going to be divided in their values and priorities. We've got left and right, democrat and republican, liberal and conservative, and many other labels for what amounts to the same thing. But why must there always be enmity between the two? I think that there are good things about each side, and that a good balance is what's needed instead of one or the other.

Those who opposed Prop 8 in California see individuals as the basic unit of society. Rational, free-thinking individuals who live and work together by contract and have rights in exchange. They see marriage as a right, and denial of that right as discrimination.

Those who supported Prop 8 see families as the basic unit of society, groups of individuals interdependent on each other, with specific and equally important roles to fill. They value the authority of experience and time-honored tradition. They see marriage as a sacred institution that continues the pattern of families, and the marriage of homosexual couples as antithesis to its fundamental purpose.

They both have some good points and seemingly good intentions, but even when I put my religious beliefs aside temporarily to wear a liberal's equality goggles I can see that only one side, the liberal, opposing side, has been represented at all/favorably in news media surrounding this issue, even in the coverage of the riotous, anti-religious backlash following the election.

I can admit that we have learned a lot of important things from the left. It is important for individuals to feel loved and valued, no matter what their background or station is in life, and it's important that individuals are treated with respect. However, the problem with swinging too far into individualism is that it quickly breeds selfishness, a sense of entitlement (which turns every desire into a "right"), and a disregard for everything not resembling the self. This selfishness naturally upsets the balance of American ideology. Our best universities hire liberal professors who teach their students to question everything, with no qualms at completely disregarding history, traditions, and "old-fashioned" notions of authority and virtue. As a result, conservative thinkers are not allowed in the echelons of today's academic elite; they are considered backwards by self-indulged individuals who hypocritically never question the authority of their own ideas.

This is when the war of ideas becomes less of a quest for truth and more of a quest to be the smartest and free-thinkingest. Liberality must accept every bent of humanity, therefore there can be no right and wrong. Individuals don't know everything, therefore there must be no truth in the world.

I think it's telling that marriage is the latest battleground of this ongoing dispute. It's funny to me that gay people, so anxious to change the tradition of love and family, are fighting so hard to have traditional marriage. But it suits the liberal agenda: marriage is a symbol. Symbols are important to conservatives, and thus become important for liberals to tear down and make their own to achieve what they call equality and I call ideological dictatorship. Seems to me that liberals cherish diversity, unless it's diversity of opinion.

I believe that there are things far more important than a human life. More important than thousands, even millions of human lives. There is truth, and it doesn't matter if hundreds of millions of whining voices say they can't see it so it doesn't exist. There will always be people like me, my family, and other people of faith, quietly raising our families the way God told us to, believing in things greater than ourselves, and, when needed, stepping forward to shape a government we can respect. This month, that amounted to a YES in California and similar wins in other states.

The gay community sees the passage of Prop 8 as a personal offense, because to people obsessed with the individual, everything is about the individual. Let me say, it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with bringing some restraint and balance back to American society.

Ok, I believe in redemption

This is a man you'll forgive and forgive,
And help and protect, as long as you live . . .

He will not always say
What you would have him say,
But now and then he'll say
Something wonderful!

The thoughtless things he'll do
Will hurt and worry you
Then all at once he'll do
Something wonderful!

. . . A man who needs your love
Can be wonderful.

Rodgers and Hammerstein's The King and I, "Something Wonderful"

Just wanted to express my gratitude for a few signs of hope this week. It makes it easier to believe my Someone is searching for me when I see other men searching too.

Men!

But I can't spell it out for you,
No, it's never gonna be that simple.
No, I can't spell it out for you.

Colbie Caillat, "Realize"

As a single girl, every once in a while I get little glimpses into the single male psyche in regards to love and dating. Sometimes it's touching, surprising, and inspiring. Other times, like the instance prompting this article, it's confusing and extremely frustrating.

Guys: Ask. Girls. On. Dates.

"It's not that simple," whines the collective male spirit.

It's not that complicated either.

I'm frustrated for all the times I looked at a handsome, upstanding young man and thought that if he really knew me, if he could open his eyes and just SEE me, for crying out loud, he would realize that we'd be beautiful together. I'm frustrated for all the time spent carefully conversing with a guy, making him laugh, asking him questions, listening attentively, talking more about him than about me, only to be rewarded with nothing, nothing, nothing for my efforts. A date isn't a random act of kindness, guys; it's repayment, and I feel surrounded by debtors.

Thoughts During a Five-Day Babysit

It doesn't come easy to me,
this talking to kids who are three.
Or getting no thanks for putting them first.
I guiltily long to be free.

I put little Zoey to bed,
left stories and songs in her head.
The door is half open, the hall light is on.
I flop on the ground. I am dead.

A plaintive voice sounds in the hall.
It's Isaak's turn now, after all.
Resentment and guilt weigh me down, pull me up,
and into his bedroom I crawl.

As I read him The Cat in the Hat
in my heart I am terrified that
someday I'll read this to a son of my own
loathing the work I begat.

I tell myself it's not a sign
of how I'd feel if they were mine.
But this practice motherhood's lonely and dreary,
and being a good mom is still just a theory,
I can't even think straight, I'm dirty and weary;
This has to be something divine

because otherwise nobody in their right minds would ever do it.